apparently imma bored now in the middle of the night.. sleep? not so soon unless i have study.. recently quite hard to commit myself into doing stuff, lots of things.. feeling discourage >_< where have all my passions gone? i used to make myself present in every meeting, but now i constantly giving excuse. "i ady done something( big perhaps?) so time to rest, skipppp..." "i involved into something( big again?), they surely und why i absent"
i always suffer physically tired, not sure whether lazy or what.. i told myself even 21k can finished, how about lil stuff that doesn't require much energy.. can't let myself con't to be in this state, help me Lord~ lift me up, walk with me, i tired of being alone with pre-believers.. i know its God's will i stay with them at the beginning, as i join lesser activities and mix with bro n sis, i started to be like them *sad to say this.. i'm just wearing out.. everyday i insists to seek You, no matter how unwilling it is, hoping to find back what i had lost, can i?
i used to have joy and peace in doing anything.. what you see now is appearance only, in my heart only God knows what i'm going through.. im confuse about the causes of these.. lead me to see the hope, Jesus.. You're my only way.. i easy to lose out patient, teach me O' Lord to be gracious.. to content with what i have now..
Lord Jesus, may my mind be renew, heart refresh once again. You're my life, my comfort, provider. Let my eye see not only short term, of the hardships i'm having now but the bigger picture that comes from you, to build me up, grow more mature spiritually. Lord, your unfailing love can only satisfy my heart, none other things from this earth, and your love is for me, forever. Forgive me for self-condemnation, i thankful that i'm worthy in your sight, you will be with me until the end of the earth. In Jesus's name, amen.
turn your eye upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
and the things of the earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.
